


yandere felix

by ascii



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Gore, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 01:27:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4768388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ascii/pseuds/ascii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i used to have a ritual where every night at three am id write lolix on my fucking iPhone<br/>but I stopped so here's the disgusting unedited 3am ooc yandere lolix bullshit</p>
            </blockquote>





	yandere felix

**Author's Note:**

> this is gonna be so bad honestly im posting it as a joke  
> there are so many typos. iPhone doesn't give a fuck  
> and the ironic thing is that I'm posting it from my iPhone too  
> which is why every time I say iPhone it's capitalized  
> fucking autocorrect won't let me sound nonchalant

"Oh god, oh god." He said. Felix tried to remember the guy's name, but he couldn't think with that image in his head. Locus was his. His.

"So, uh, Mr . . . ?" Felix said. "D-Doyle . . . "

"Doyle. Right." He finished sharpening his knife, and licked the edge for good luck. He liked the pain he felt on the tip of his tongue. He liked to remember what pain felt like.

"So, Doyle, what exactly made you think you could touch Locus like that?"

"W-W-What?"

"I saw you. You had your hands all over him. Your mouth . . . " Felix spat. "And in the workplace too? Disgusting."

Doyle froze. "How did you--"

"What, you think I didn't have the place bugged? You think I was born yesterday?" Felix brought his knife to Doyle's neck, just close enough to leave a prick of blood.

"No, oh god no--"

Felix smiled. He licked his lips, and smeared them with blood. "You bastard." He said. "If you had any idea how lucky you are . . . "

Doyle was sobbing. "What do you want, do you want money, please I'll give you anything--"

Felix laughed. "Don't worry Doyle. I'm not gonna kill you." "Y-You're not?"

"Well, I want to." Felix said. "I really, really want to. But I won't. You know why?"

Doyle shook his head.

"Because I've done that too many times before. It's getting obvious. Locus is smarter than he looks, you know." Felix stared into space, and thought of Locus. How pretty he was. How smart. How powerful he made Felix. Felix remembered where he was. "Anyways." He said. "I'm going to make you quit your job. Maybe move away. Far, far away from us."

Doyle was screaming and swearing, so Felix tried to calm him down. He ran a finger across Doyle's throat and traced blood across his face, outlining every crevice and jaw bone.

"Bastard." He said. "Lucky bastard." Felix chuckled. "Don't worry, I'm almost done with you." He said. "I just gotta give you a little insentive before you go." He revealed a wrench from his back pocket.

"You ever have any teeth pulled, Doyle darling?"

Doyle cried, and cried.

* * *

 

"Locus baby, look at me when I'm talking to you." Felix said. "You never look at me when we fuck, baby."

Locus scoffed. "Don't be so lewd. I just have other things on my mind."

"Am I one of them?" Felix said, batting an eyebrow.

Locus sighed, and nudged Felix towards the other side of the couch. "If you must know, I'm curious about why my co-worker left so suddenly. He seemed very . . . Rushed." Locus stared into his tea, as if it had the answer.

Felix sighed, and wondered if shedding a couple crocodile tears would make him look less guilty. _Not worth the risk,_ he thought. _Locus knows me too well._

"Yeah. Well." He said. "Doyle was boring anyways. Too uptight." He smiled and looked right into Locus's eyes. "He was definitely one of your worst boyfriends by far."

Locus rolled his eyes, but he blushed, too. "You're being juvenile." He said.

"Is it hot?" Felix said. He brought his mouth that much closer to Locus's. Locus shoved him off, and walked over to his kitchen instead.

"Stop coming on to me. You act like you're obsessed."

"Nah. I'm just a little crazy about you, darling." Felix said, with a little laugh.

Locus sighed. "What are the plans for tonight?"

"Some bitch won't pay me what he owes me. Be a doll and rough him up?"

"Since when do people owe you money?" Locus said.

"Since I'm good at fucking with people." Felix said. He winked at Locus. Locus almost smiled, and Felix felt giddy. "There's my love bug." He said. "Do this for me? We can spilt it 50/50."

"Fine. Anything else?"

"I dunno. We could shoplift shit."

"That was more fun when we were teenagers."

"Yeah! It was fuckin' great, man."

Locus walked over to his front door and pulled on a coat. "I have to go." He said. "I'll see you later. You can stay if you'd like, but don't break anything."

"Wouldn't dream of it, babe." Felix said. Locus grabbed his wallet and shut the door behind him. Felix sighed lovingly, and proceeded to check that he still had Locus's apartment bugged.

* * *

 

Locus showed up to work one minute late. Wash was disappointed in him anyways.

"I expect the best from you, Locus." He said. "Don't start slacking now."

"Yes, sir."

Wash rolled his eyes. "And stop calling me sir." He said. "I'm your manager, not your parol officer."

"Yes, sir." Locus mumbled, as he unlocked the cash register. Work was slow, as always. There wasn't much else to expect when you worked the night shift. The owner was an old military sergeant who prided himself on keeping it open 24/7. (Not that Locus had ever seen a customer at night anyways.)

"I'll be in the back if you need me." Wash said. Locus assumed this meant he was sleeping there, but he'd never actually seen Wash sleep. Locus didn't know very much about Wash, though it was more than Wash wanted him to know. He'd had friends once. He'd lost them. He'd made new friends. (Wash always referred to them as his family, despite the fact that none of them were related.)

The hours went by slow. Locus stared at guns, cleaned them, shelved them. Sometimes he'd go into the back room just to see Wash. Sometimes Wash would see him, and they'd have a short conversation. Sometimes they didn't, and it was awkward. Almost always, Locus felt his chest tighten up. He wasn't sure whether he loved or hated Wash (some of the things he had to say about Felix were certainly unsavoury) but he wanted him, in one way or another.

It was the difference between wanting to hold someone and hold their rotting corpse. Or want them to hold _your_ rotting corpse. Locus found himself with odd masochistic desires a little too often, all of which revolved around Wash. He wouldn't admit to any feelings for him, not through his relationship with Statsney or Doyle or even Felix, but Locus had always wanted Wash, no matter how hard he tried to forget it. (Not very sexualmy though. His random masochism was one of the few things that turned him on, even though he placed himself comfortably on the asexual spectrum.)

_What I wouldn't do to watch him snap my neck._ Locus thought.  _Or break my legs, or something. Fuck, I just want him to tear me apart, and I don't know why._

"Hey. Locus." Wash said. If he'd been sleeping, it didn't show. "Carolina's on her way."

"Thank you, Washington." Locus was the only one who called him by his full name, even though it drove him up the wall.

"Yeah yeah, no problem." Wash said. Locus thought his voice sounded like honey and a million ways to die. His eyes were always just a little angry, and way too tired. His freckles didn't suit him at all, but Locus loved them just the same.

"Uh . . . " Wash said. Locus realized he'd been staring, and looked in the opposite direction.

"You look nice." He said.

"Oh. Thanks."

Then there was silence, until Carolina arrived. Locus left then, with his coat and his wallet. He walked out of the store with big eyes and a red face. _He talked to me._ Locus thought. _Fuck, he talked to me. Why do I care so much?_

* * *

 

The night did no favors for Felix. It was still a little light out, and he hated that. He hated when the world could see what he was about to do. Such a tactical disadvantage.

"I'm not going to leave any bruises." Locus said. "Too unprofessional." They stood waiting at some bastard's doorstep in dark hoodies. Felix had told Locus it was to hide his face, but really he just thought they looked cool.

"That's fine, sweetheart." Felix said. He rang the doorbell, and put on his most intimidating smile. No one came, so Felix rang again, and again. They heard some footsteps, and stood a little too close to the door, so that when it swung open, the poor sap inside got caught by surprise.

"Tucker!" Felix said. "Nice to see you again, old friend."

"Jesus dude, it's five am. Don't you know this is when I get my freak on?"

Felix laughed. "Yeah, sure thing buddy. Listen, about that money you owe me . . . "

Tucker swore under his breath. "Look, I'm working on that dude, but I think it's gonna be another month--"

Felix sighed, and shook his head. "No, no I don't think that's going to work at all." He said. "I know you have my money, because I know you got your pay check yesterday."

"How did you--"

"I have my ways. Fork it over."

Tucker froze, and thought of a good excuse. "Listen, I need that money, I've gotta get my bills paid--"

"Wow, I super don't care." Felix said. Locus grunted and whispered, "get on with it."

"Give me my money, or I will take it from you." Felix said.

"Fuck off."

Felix giggled just before Locus smacked Tucker square across the face, and knocked him out cold.

"Jesus Christ, I thought you said you wouldn't leave any bruises." Felix said. He walked past Tucker's front door, grabbed his wallet (they always kept it in their kitchen, always in plain sight) and left.

"He was really annoying." Locus said. _Wash would've hated him_ , he thought, for no particular reason. _Wash would've liked me better than him. Wash likes me. Likes me enough to kill me._ Locus looked at Felix, and centred himself. He gestured at Tucker's wallet. "That looks like more than what he owes you." He said.

Felix scoffed. "That's the plan, dumbass. I'm going for everything he's got."

"Someone will catch you." Locus said. "People keep a close eye on their money."

"What, you think I'm gonna cash it?" Felix said. He was being obnoxious, and Locus glared at him. He calmed down immediately.

"I don't need any money, love bug." He said. "I've got everything I could ever need, thanks to my dead old dad." He smiled, and he looked younger than he was. "Don't get me wrong, I could always use more, but this?" He held up the flimsy little leather wallet and laughed. "No, I don't care about this." He produced a lighter from his back pocket, and set the wallet on fire. (He cursed when the leather didn't burn, but the money did, and the credit cards did.) "Locus, I care about _this_." He said. He dropped Tucker's wallet on Tarmac and stomped it out with the toe of his shoe. His face melted, and he reached a hand towards Locus's face.

"Don't." Locus whispered.

"I care about this." Felix said.

"Stop it."

"Babe, I could give you anything." He wrapped his arms around Locus's neck. "Say the word, and it would be yours. Just you and me, against the world."

Locus sighed, and gently pushed Felix back. "I'm not doing this. I told you I'm not doing this."

Felix smiled anyways. "It's fine." He said. "I've still got this." He said, staring down at the little torn up dollar bills. "This is better than anything money can buy."

* * *

 

Locus arrived at work with baited breath. He was a bit late after his endeavour with Felix, and he didn't want to think about how that would tarnish his reputation. (Or what Wash would think.)

Only Wash wasn't there. He wasn't sitting at the counter, or cleaning his stock. This was bad, very bad. Locus froze with that thought while he approached the back office, and the whispers from inside it.

He pressed his ear to the door, very gently. "Allison, Allison." He heard. "We miss her, fuck, we miss her so much. I can't remember--and when I can, it hurts, oh Epsilon it hurts so much." There was a pause, and Locus wondered if he should call an ambulance.

"I know that!" Wash shouted. "I know, I know. I don't want to know. That's the problem."

Locus took a breath. "Washington?" He whispered, before he said it louder. "Washington?"

". . . Yes?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm fine."

Locus creaked the door open, and saw Wash sitting in a fetal position under his desk. "Who's Epsilon?" He asked.

Wash buried his face in his hands. "No one. No one. Go away."

Locus tried to think of the right thing to say, and when he couldn't, he said what he wanted to say, perhaps for the first time in years. "I know how it feels to be afraid of yourself." He said. "I'm sorry that you must live through that. You don't deserve to."

Wash didn't respond, or look any happier, but Locus certainly did. That short exchange might as well have been a love confession in his books, and it felt amazing to say it shamelessly. Locus was terrified, no doubt, with a million little anxieties buzzing in his mind, but he had one less thing to worry about while he did his night shift, and that made all the difference.

Felix saw this in the corner of his monitor, from the safe confines of a room in his house that Locus didn't know about. He was surveilling about ten different places at once, but that face stood out clear as day. It was beautiful, but he hadn't put it there, and he didn't like that. He didn't like that at all.

* * *

 

Felix showed up at the Boxed Canyon Weapons Shop exactly one hour after Locus had finished his shift. He found a big Hawaiian guy running the register, and no trace of Wash.

"Hey." He said. No answer. The Hawaiian guy stared into space, and made a snoring noise.

_Is he asleep?_ "Hey. Asshole." Felix said, snapping his fingers. "Wake up, stupid.

The cashier blinked and rubbed his eyes. "I was sleeping, asshole."

"I can see that. Is Washington here?"

"Wash works at night. Only people here are me and Simmons."

"You know where I can find him?"

"He's apartment 207 at the complex on Thurlow street. He works out every morning, and his sex life is pretty stale, but he's still looking for love. Is that good, or do you want his birth certificate too?"

"Nope." Felix said. He left the weapons shop, mumbling _207 Thurlow, 207 Thurlow._

He was knocking on Wash's front door ten minutes later, and checking his hair. It was perfect, as always. _I'm gonna waste this prick,_ he thought. _I'm gonna make him forget Locus ever existed, and then Locus will be mine, and I'll have everything, absolutely everything._

When Wash finally opened the door, Felix had to keep himself from laughing. _This was his competition?_ A (no pun intended) washed up, broken little freak? He smelled funny. His hair was dark at the roots, like he'd forgotten to dye it. He looked like he'd just gotten out of bed, but at the same time, like he hadn't slept in years.

Felix let himself smirk. "Hey, it's Wash, right?" Felix said, careful to use the same pet name the Hawaiian guy had.

"Yeah." Wash said. "Are you selling something, or . . . "

"Nah, I'm just a friend of Locus's. He's been saying an awful lot about you."

Wash raised an eyebrow. "You're friends with that guy? No offense, but you don't look like the kind of company he'd keep."

Felix chuckled. "You're funny, you know that?" He said. "I just wanted to make sure Locus was hanging out with the right people, you know? He's not right in his head. I gotta watch out for him, make sure he's not around anyone that might . . . Set him off."

"Right."

"Right. He can blow up if you poke him the wrong way, believe it or not. But he's usually quiet. I'm sure you've noticed."

"I have."

"Great. Just watch your step, okay? Be seeing you, Wash."

" . . . You too." Wash looked completely creeped out when he closed the door, and Felix knew that meant he had done his job perfectly. The human mind was an alert little thing, and just the smallest bit of fear would put a wall between Wash and Locus. It'd linger in his mind forever, even if Locus did manage to break the ice. It was a small thing, but it was all Felix needed just then. Locus and Wash would never fall in love, and Locus would belong to Felix forever.

* * *

 

Locus spent his next shift trying to think of good pick-up lines. Wash was in the back office, mumbling to himself, like always. Felix was making his phone explode with texts. _I could ask how his day was,_ Locus thought. _I could ask about the inventory. I could ask him to rip me apart._ Locus looked at the creaky old door that kept them apart. He sighed. Back to the drawing board.

Only just then Locus heard a low cry, and found himself swinging the door open. Wash was sitting on the floor, and holding his hand.

"Fuck." He said. "I think I broke my thumb."

Locus crouched at his side and looked at his hand. It was swollen, and his knuckles were bleeding.

"What happened?" Locus said.

Wash blushed. "Nothing. My phone is in my pocket. Call my sister and ask her to drive me to the hospital."

"What's her name?"

"Carolina." Locus did as he was told, and called Carolina. Then he called again, and again.

"She won't answer." Locus said.

"Fuck." Wash said. "Can you drive?" Locus nodded. "Okay, I need you to drive me to the hospital." Wash said, while he tried to stand up. He found he couldn't, and winced. Locus helped him to his car and thought _oh my god, this is it, this is it._

"Thanks." Wash said, once they were on the road.

"It's fine." Locus paused, and thought carefully about what he said next. "I know you don't want to tell me, but since I am going to all this trouble, I want to know what broke your hand in the first place."

Wash sighed. Locus could not tell if this was a good thing or not. " . . . I punched a wall. A brick wall."

"Why would you do that?" Locus said.

"I was angry."

"Oh. I understand if work has been . . . Stressful."

"Yeah. I guess so."

Locus noticed his hands were sweaty. He didn't usually have conversations like this, not with anyone who wasn't Felix. He liked where it was going, though, so he pressed on. "Was it Epsilon?" He mumbled, but he could tell by the way that Wash stiffened that he'd heard it.

"Epsilon is not real." Wash said. "He does not exist. I don't need him. I have a family now."

Locus blinked, and wondered why he suddenly felt so hot. "Implying that you didn't have one before." He said.

"We all have our demons."

"We do." Locus gripped the wheel a little too tight. "I apologize for pressing. Your business is yours."

Wash waved his spare hand. "It's fine. I shouldn't be at work in the firs place. Carolina was wrong. I'm not ready for it."

"I would understand." Locus said. "But I would miss your presence, as well."

Wash scoffed. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"No, I don't speak to women very often." Locus said.

Wash laughed, but Locus didn't know why. "You're quite the character, Locus." Wash said. "What makes a man like you?"

Locus stared at the road. "War." He muttered, without thinking.

"That so? What rank?" Wash said. Locus perked up immediately. It was nice to have someone understand what you'd been through, rather than pity it.

"Private." He said.

Wash nodded. "I was special ops. My dad had me and my siblings under experiment. We didn't realize what we were doing until it was too late." He looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Locus said. He wondered why Wash was disclosing so much, and turned to see Wash looking like he was about to cry. Locus was about to say something when Wash's phone rang. Wash answered it.

"Hello? Carolina?" He said. Locus kept driving, and they were at the hospital too quickly. Wash hung up the phone not long after.

"Carolina's coming to get me." He said. "You can go home, or drive my car back to the shop. Thanks again. I really appreciate this."

"I'll bring your car back and take a bus home."

"Great. Thanks." Wash smiled a little bit just then, and Locus saw a pair of dimples there for the first time. He thought of that on the way back to the shop, and on the bus ride home. That sweet little smile, and all the things it could do to him.

* * *

 

Felix saw it, of course. All of it. _A broken thumb, a fucking broken thumb, are you kidding me?_ He thought. _It's stupid. How could something like that just happen?_ This changed things, oh this definitely changed things. The pieces were coming together, and it was all making sense. Wash was crazy--a different kind of crazy, but crazy nonetheless. Maybe the same kind of crazy as Locus, maybe not, but that wasn't a chance Felix could take.

He punched himself in the eye, and slapped it with some meat for good measure, to make it look gruesome. He added a couple other bruises just to make sure, but he smiled all the while, because he was thinking about Locus, and he knew everything would be alright. Felix watched Locus through his computer screen, broken and battered but oh so in love. "Oh, darling." He said. "Don't worry. I won't let anyone hurt you."

* * *

 

Locus found himself lingering for Wash's touch throughout his days. He knew that this kind of persistent was unhealthy, but he just felt generally unfocused. His masochistic desires frightened him as well, and led him to question his mental health: _maybe I should go back to therapy, maybe I should up my pill dosage._ It was another thing for him to worry about, something else to distract him from the rest of the world.

"Locus? Loc baby?" Felix said. "You off in la-la land again?"

Locus blinked. "No, just thinking."

They sat Locus's couch watching a movie, though Locus couldn't remember which one it was and Felix hadn't been paying attention. It was usually just background noise for them, to reassure Locus that they were just friends.

"Penny for your thoughts." Felix said.

_Washington_. "Nothing interesting." Locus lied.

"Shame." Felix said, absently chewing on popcorn. "Doesn't your shift start soon?" He said. "You've got a boyfriend to get back to."

"That's not funny." Locus said. Felix looked at his face and thought _fuck, they've really got him this time._

"But you're right. I have to go. You can stay if you'd like, but I don't know why you insist on staying here all the time."

Felix looked up at him with pretty brown eyes. "You're all I need, my 'lil love bug."

Locus rolled his eyes and smiled a bit. "Goodbye." He said. His shift started in twenty minutes.

Two bus rides and a cup of coffee later, Locus was tapping on the little wood door that read MANAGEMENT. "Washington?" He said. "I've arrived for my shift."

The door cracked open to reveal a woman with red hair. "He's not working here anymore. I'm Carolina. I'm taking his shifts for now."

Locus froze. "Why was he let go?"

"He's on leave for disability reasons."

"Oh." He said.

"Yeah. Just work like you always do, okay?" She went back into the office, and Locus suddenly hated his job. He spent the next few hours trying to get up the nerve to ask Carolina where Wash was, and why he was disabled. He wondered if he'd be better off not knowing about what had happened to Wash, though the suspense killed him inside.

Eventually Carolina left the office, and caught Locus by surprise when she did. "Hey." She said. "Grif and Simmons are running late, but you can leave now if you want."

"Where is Washington?" Locus said, without thinking.

"Uh . . . Invention Apartments, down on Thurlow street. You a friend of his?"

"Yes. I am concerned for his health."

Carolina scoffed. "He's fine. He just needs some time away from work. I'm going to go see him when Grif and Simmons get here."

Locus sweated a little bit. "I could go visit him, if you'd like."

" . . . Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Okay . . . ? His . . . He's apartment number 207."

"Thank you." Locus said. He left the shop, hailed a taxi, and asked for Invention Apartments, Thurlow street. He was watching the city zoom past, thinking about what he'd say to Wash.

Invention Apartments wasn't very nice, but it was nicer than he'd thought it would be. It turned out Wash lived on the 13th floor, and that made Locus shiver for some reason. His door was so plain and human that Locus couldn't believe this was him, the pretty face he'd been idolizing all this time. But it was his door, since he came and answered it, and made Locus feel like he'd just come home from a long, long vacation.

"Locus?" Wash said.

It took him a minute to find his way bam to reality. "Yes, yes it's me."

"I see that. What're you doing here?"

"I was concerned for your health."

"Oh. I'm fine."

They both just stood there, for what felt like an incredibly long amount of time, until Wash said, " . . . Would you like to come in?"

"Alright." Locus said. He stepped past the threshold and stood there awkwardly until Wash gestured to his couch. It was surrounded by filthy plates and garbage, as if Wash had been living there. Wash hastily cleaned it off with his hand, right before Locus sat next to him. They sat like that, tapping their fingers and staring at their shoes.

"Carolina said you were removed from work for disability reasons."

Wash laughed a little. "Is that what she called it? That's so like her."

More silence, then Wash said, "what's your opinion of me, Locus?"

Locus was slightly taken aback. He'd heard the question perfectly, but he didn't know how to go about answering it truthfully. "You are a lovely man. You deserve more than what life has dealt you." He said.

Wash nodded slowly. "Good answer." He said. "I like you, Private Locus."

Locus felt smaller. "Don't call me that." He mumbled.

"Sorry. I like you, Locus."

Locus blushed, and hoped it didn't show. (It did.)

Wash pulled on a blanket and tossed one to Locus. "Wanna see what's on TV?" He said. "Any preferences?"

"No war movies."

Wash smiled. "Amen to that." He said, and put on some feel-good adventure flick. They spoke occasionally, but otherwise there was silence, and the movie filled the gaps. Nothing was awkward then, and every moment had its purpose and its place. So they were allotted that small fraction of time, where they could chew on popcorn and pretend everything was perfect.

* * *

 

then they all had buttsex the end

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT:  
> ok so obviously this isnt finished  
> there was like. a lot more plot. that was going to happen  
> im just too lazy to finish it so   
> enjoy this bullshit lmao


End file.
